I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
