Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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