Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
