32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
