I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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