I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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