Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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