Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
