Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
