Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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