It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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