I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
