kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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