i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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