I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Everclear isn't food dammit
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
