And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
