areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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