What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize