this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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