talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
