lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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