eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize