thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
