yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sorry my hands just texted you
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize