So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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