Someone shit on the floor
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
