she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
