You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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