I think my fart just growled at me.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
