So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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