If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This is classic penis vs brain.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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