I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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