I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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