Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
