We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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