Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize