I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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