I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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