Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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