that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
