I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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