i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
