You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Green mimosas i think yes
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize