how can u be prego again
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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