My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
