...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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