Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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