:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
