I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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