3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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