Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
