im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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