Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
