One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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