Too much gin, very little bucket
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize