i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
