I think my vagina is haunted
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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