And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
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