small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
