I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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