But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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