Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
