Whod you bang
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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