cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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