i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
