I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
