I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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