and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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