The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
