some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
