You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
