In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize